Mood Food, from the morons who made you Lemonade and the chumps who gave you Chicken!, is For Your GRAMMY® Consideration as Best Children's Music Album. But first things first: We think your FYC submission is the best thing in the whole wide world and we like totally wanna marry it. You all have our support!!! And now let's move on to what we really wanna talk about: us.
While it is crucial to recycle garbage in today’s world, this is one collection of trash to be discarded permanently.
Here at Mood Food HQ,* we promise our two new Singles/Videos are the best citrus- and poultry-based Combo Meal we've ever released. Orange you gonna check 'em out?** Or are you chicken??*** Understand why we're two starving artists by exploring our Videos, DIY Marketing, Totally UnDoctored Global Release Party Photos (TUDGRPP), quotes from respected artists, and just soaking in our legendary album and PR campaign showing that We are It.
Thirty-one minutes of your life you’ll never get back. These two quacks should be sued for malpractice.
We promise you won't be disappointed if you do that. Actually you probably will be. But enough about you. Let's get back to us. No expense was spared for our visual presentation with nepo-hired Director Sidney Cullinan and Illustrator Danny Darko, a visual artist we found and really like. Our first single and video, Lemonade, depicts our life philosophy being trampled on by some kids brutally out-Zuckerberging us in the cutthroat lemonade stand industry:
Our second and worse video, Chicken! (Don't Cross The Road), launches us into space on rooster rockets,**** eschews lemonheads for more mainstream rock/pop chicken suits,***** and features poorly synchronized moves we stole without permission from Shaun T's Dig Deeper workout videos. We also stole some of the lyrics from kids, but who's counting?****** Here it is:
It’s imperative you watch our new Making Of Mood Food video. We discuss the depth of a friendship that goes back weeks and our iconic careers. We’re too busy 'n' important to watch it ourselves, but that's OK 'cause we assume Sidney made sure to edit everything so only our best side comes out in the video. Remember kids: Nothing ever goes wrong when you just assume stuff:*******
This album is every parent’s nightmare.
Thank you Vivian! And speaking of the Children's Music Network, here is what we presented to our peers at the 2024 Children's Music Network Grammy Listening Party!!! It's like a movie trailer except the special FX are better. Nobody mixes 2D and 3D for budget reasons better than we do.
They say if you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all. Nothing at all.
And now, if you must... the album. We wrote this 'cause Beethoven died before he could. 11 songs to get you in the mood. Many about food. Mood and food rhyme, we figured that out, so that became the title. That's Genius Level Stuff there. The Docs wrote, recorded, mixed 'n' mastered a song a day. That's longer than it takes to eat most meals, and shows a meticulous Taylor Swift-Level Commitment To Excellence in the studio that is staggering. Check it:
I have been waiting to hear the quality work these guys will put out when they come together, and still am.
Somebody call a doctor! But not these two…Every song on this album has its own special way of putting me in a terrible mood.
And now, a word from our sponsors...
Look, it’s not a competition, but we’d like to thank our two sponsors, Casa Bonita and Econo Auto Sales of Lakewood, CO.******** Casa Bonita gives kids a multicultural experience with extra cheese, and Econo Auto Sales develops motor skills when kids play with their cars. “Our all-organic fusion of interests is based on money, publicity, and fully grown adults trying to win validation through little trophies,” said nobody involved with this non-partnership.
If I rapped like Doctor Noize, I’d never have become a rapper.
And finally... Grammy attendees! Come see us at our We Don't Really Know You Reunion Party at 4:30 PM Saturday Feb. 1st at the Chick-fil-A near Crypto.com Arena. 660 S Figueroa St. is your jam. You can take pictures with us on our vintage cracked-screen iPhone 12s and post 'em to your social media pages so they know you were there until Chick kicks us out and we regroup at Arby's. Look for the guys in chicken suits.*********
The Docs squawk like chickens that’s just been hatched. You call this music? And play it for kids? This is why I make people think I’m dead.
Mood Food. The Microphone Doctors & Doctor Noize. For Your GRAMMY® Consideration. Best Children's Music Album. Might give you gas. Cool Beans.
This is crap.
*Not a real place.
**We like totally wrote that promo sentence, not our PR agent.
***We wrote that one too.
****Pending irritating budget, environmental, and animal safety roadblocks.
*****"Eschews" means "deliberately avoid using; abstain from" and is a word we generally deliberately avoid using and abstain from.
******We do have a song called "The Count" on our album. Sweet product tie-in there.
*******Danny & The Doc are available for Workshops on this subject and more for a large fee.
********Neither of these organizations actually know they're our sponsors, but we feel confident they'll come around.
*********Note: We do not have the space reserved, but their waffle fries are legit fire. If by some unfortunate double booking marketing faux pas there are multiple duos in chicken suits there, we're the ones in the cool chicken suits.
**********Apologies to sponsors Casa Bonita and Econo Auto Sales that we didn't film our candids below their signs; a regrettable professional oversight.
Mood Food exudes a sense of hope, purpose, and sheer fun for all ages. Picture two guys from wildly different backgrounds having a blast in the studio, not overthinking life, and letting their inner children come out to share the feelings of discovery that a deep new friendship can provide.
Go Deeper...
- Lyrics, Libretto & Credits (coming soon!)
- Learning Curriculum (coming never!)
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