Waiting To Tell & Other Unnatural Exercises In Restraint

Greetings Earthlings,

Now that the glow and adrenaline of the launch weekend is truly in the past, it has been back to reality for Doctor Noize this week. There are many good things happening — more gigs are starting to get booked at libraries, museums, rec centers, schools, etc. — and a whole lot of groundwork that still needs to be laid regarding these gigs. I need to update the website with pictures from the launch weekend, but haven’t found the time to do it yet. Did I mention I need an administrative assistant? That is pretty much the fantasy dream scenario of my work life right now, to have an administrative assistant. Preferably one with Riley The Robot’s skill set.

Barring that, it is on to the tasks of updating the website and, most of all, selling live performances. It is great to know that I now do, indeed, have a viable, entertaining, and educational show to sell. Having a successful and gig-tested show in hand is great. Ultimately, the success of this venture will probably depend primarily on how many live performances I can sell. My business plan calls for Doctor Noize to play over 150 gigs a year at my normal rate. My normal rate, incidentally, is more than ten dollars and less than ten million dollars — contact me directly for details.

I am starting to realize that I need to be clear to everyone what my target show venues are. They are many, and I need to present myself as an option to all of them. These target venues include: Performance venues like the Soiled Dove Underground for larger events; schools; libraries; museums; children’s attractions; rec centers; private parties and birthday parties; corporate parties; arts festivals; summer concerts in the park; and Madison Square Garden. Okay, probably not the last one.

I learned a lesson this week. I have told a few people that Entertainment Weekly was going to review the Doctor Noize CD in July. This was exciting news, as Entertainment Weekly is a big mainstream national entertainment magazine. In fact, it’s one of my guilty pleasures to read every time I see it at a doctor’s office or news stand. Anyway, I excitedly told some people EW was going to review Phineas in July because, well, they told my publicist twice that they were going to review it in July. Well, guess what? This week they told us that, actually, they were not going to review the CD after all. Bummer. So the lesson learned is that, in the future, I will try to never tell anybody a publication is going to write about Doctor Noize until after they’ve actually published the article. This is probably good for another reason too — you never know, they might write an article that says Doctor Noize sucks and he will make your children into irreparable monsters. I mean, you never know who will like yer stuff and who won’t. So it’s probably best to wait until you’ve got the article in hand before you sing its praises.

On to selling shows…

Your buddy for life,

Doctor Noize