Lend Me Your Ears

Hello Again,

It is Monday morning after a very painful and sleep-deprived weekend. Doctor Noize got an ear infection on Friday evening. I love my ears — all the better to hear you with, my dear. They are fairly important to my career. Anyway, of course my ears started experiencing excruciating pain just hours after all the doctor’s offices closed for the weekend on Friday evening. Otherwise, I suppose the experience would not have been a proper character building exercise for me.

So I thought I’d just sleep and go get it checked out at the Urgent Care office in the morning, which opens at 7 AM. Unfortunately, the pain got worse, the Advil did nothing for it, and there was no way to fall asleep. I could have gone to the emergency room at the hospital less than a mile from my home, but I know from taking my kids there in the middle of the night that a trip there costs about $350 out of pocket. So I decided to brave it until the 7 AM Urgent Care Clinic price of fifteen bucks. After the pain of the night and the weekend, and considering the fact that my ears are very important to my career and lifestyle, I probably will put down the $350 to get the antibiotics going earlier next time, as the pain really didn’t subside until Sunday night, and I am — what is the word again? — oh yeah, kind of a wimp. Never, ever, allow me to get pregnant. I’m not sure I could take it.

So I spent Friday night and Saturday morning until 7 AM doing what any of us would do — namely, watching old San Francisco 49ers Super Bowl year highlights on DVD, courtesy of Netflix. I kept trying things like applying warm wet washcloths to my ears to allegedly ease the ear pain (my 2 AM research project on the internet said this would be helpful). The result of this was the same ear pain but a very wet couch, face, and clothing for Doctor Noize. A fantastic suggestion boldly executed.

So Doctor Noize got a bunch of drugs from the real doctor on Saturday morning and started taking them. By the afternoon, it no longer felt like my head was being run over by a tractor every time I swallowed anything. It just felt like my head was being struck by a baseball bat. So there was improvement. On Saturday night, after a big round of pain drugs, I was able to fall asleep for about two hours before the pain returned and woke me up. My three babes (my daughters and their mommy) were at their loveliest and entertained me and my nearly sleepless weekend brain on Sunday, and the pain finally started to truly subside on Sunday night as the antibiotics began to have an effect on the ear infection. So I finally got a real sleep last night.

Today I’m back to work, groggy and spaced out like a zombie from a B-Movie. What was my name again? What is your name again? Perhaps this is what a 70’s rock star felt like after a hedonistic weekend of gigging and partying. It certainly doesn’t feel much like the typical family musician’s Monday.

So… If you get an ear infection, get yer drugs quick. I know I will next time.

Your buddy for life, with a still-clogged but no-longer-excruciatingly-painful set of ears,

Doctor Noize